It's done!!

2012 is ending...phew.  2012,  you kind of sucked.  You had quite a few ups and downs.  I can look back and appreciate all the good things you brought.  But when I look back and see the bad stuff, well dear old 2012, you can settle into the corner over there with 2005.  You both were naughty with your nasty, rotten, surprises mixed in with good things.   You both made me cry, but 2012,  you took the cake.  You almost broke me.  But you didn't.  I may be three extra shades of crazy because of you, but I can live with that.  I have learned so much this year.  I have learned that I am damn strong.  If you didn't break me, nothing will.  I have learned that I have great friends, and a wonderful family that will always be my family.

Well 2012, see ya later.  I am not going to miss you.  I am bringing with me the things that I cherish from you, and I am leaving the rest behind.   I make no grand resolutions this year.  I will do what I can to rebuild my life and my heart.  I will take care of my boys and I will make no excuses for how I manage to put humpty dumpty back together again.  I will live my life by my code of honor and morals.  I will behave as I always have, though I may be a little more guarded with my heart and trust.  I see big things on the horizon.  I see hope.  Actually, 2012, I will not be seeing you later.

Oh That Sneaky Tent

It was right there!  Did you see it?  Oh I swear it was right there.  It was a beautiful sight too.  That yellow tent.  It was inviting and warm and it posed the possibility of endless trust and love and comfort.  Oh, but wait...it's gone.  That's ok.  Don't you remember?  I told you that the tent was just an illusion.  "What's happening?",  you may ask?  Sure, go ahead and ask.  My marriage has ended.  The tent has been moved.  All the trust I had, shattered beyond recognition.  I lost my marbles for a short while there, well, actually I dropped them.  I have found most of them.  The ones I can't find, well, I figure I don't need those anymore.  I'm heading down a new path.  At first it seemed to be a scary hopeless path.  But that was just the beginning of the path, it's opened into a beautiful garden, and beyond that there is a clearing, and beyond that?  Well, I think I may see the yellow tent.  I'm going to head in that direction.  Wherever this path may lead, I am hopeful, because sometimes the tent moves for a reason.  And what of that pesky yellow tent?  It still holds the promise of endless trust and love and comfort.  It is just not exactly where I thought it would be.  That's ok, change is scary, but not always bad.  And beyond the tent?  Actually above the tent?  Is the moon. The moon is always there with it's beautiful light.  While the tent is unpredictable, the moon is very predictable.  I'll let it help me find my way.